Friday, July 17, 2015

Weight on my Mind

Where to begin? This is me. I lost 70lbs in about 8 months. The part everyone gets jealous of is that I wasn't even trying.
Around January 2014, my senior year of high school, my appetite suddenly decreased and I found that I wasn't able to eat as much as I used to. I thought nothing of it. I was now eating normal serving sizes. Half a pizza instead of a full one etc. I didn't fully notice the change until I had to go buy new pants. My first size change was massive, from a 14 to an 8 but it didn't stop, dropping to a 4, a 2 and finally a size 1. My shirts went from medium to XS, 182lbs to 112.
I was enjoying my new body. For the first time I was being asked on dates and making friends. I felt more confident and happy. I remember being able to look in the mirror and like what I saw.
But then people began asking if I was anorexic. If I'd realized how much weight I'd lost. Yeah, actually. I'm the one who's been buying and giving away all those clothes. Do they realize how hard it is to find tall and skinny jeans?
Things seemed ok, I was active and eating healthy, and even unhealthy... Ice cream is my weakness and on payday I couldn't help sneaking over to Subzero for dinner. I've never counted calories or truly cared about what I consumed. If it tastes good, I eat it.
But then December happened. Eating started making me sick. What had started as fatigue after a few hours of work or a class at school turned into spending nearly all of my free time in bed sleeping. I had no energy or strength to spare. I could hardly eat five bites of food before I was full.
Despite this it took until February 2015 for me to finally admit that there was something wrong. I was so determined that I was fine. I'm not anorexic, I was under weight, okay, but no one batted an eye when I was overweight... By then I had moved back home, quit my job and discontinued college. I just didn't have the energy or ambition to do much of anything. I am so grateful to my dad for the support he has been to me through all of this.

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